Hey there, book lovers. Let’s talk about boundaries, one of the most powerful yet misunderstood aspects of personal growth. Have you ever felt drained because you’re constantly saying yes when you want to say no? Or found yourself taking on responsibilities that aren’t yours, just to avoid conflict? If so, you’re not alone. Setting boundaries can feel awkward, uncomfortable, and even selfish at first. But the truth is, boundaries are essential for a healthy, happy life.
The challenge? Many of us struggle with guilt when we start setting limits. We worry about disappointing others, feeling selfish, or being seen as unkind. That’s why I’ve rounded up five must-read books that will teach you how to set firm, loving boundaries without guilt so you can protect your time, energy, and well-being without second-guessing yourself.
Struggle Setting Boundaries? Read These Books.
1. “Set Boundaries, Find Peace” by Nedra Glover Tawwab
If you’re looking for the ultimate guide to setting healthy boundaries, this book is it. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a licensed therapist and boundary expert, breaks down why we struggle with boundaries and gives you practical tools to start setting them without guilt.
What You’ll Learn:
- The difference between healthy boundaries and unhealthy walls.
- How to say no with confidence (without feeling mean).
- How to stop feeling responsible for other people’s emotions.
- Scripts and real-life examples to help you set boundaries in friendships, family, work, and love.
This book is warm, relatable, and packed with real-life strategies that will help you set limits without feeling like a bad person. If you’re new to boundaries, this is the perfect place to start.
2. “The Book of No” by Susan Newman
Do you struggle with people-pleasing? If so, this book is a must-read! Susan Newman dives deep into the psychology behind why we feel obligated to say yes even when we don’t want to and teaches you how to break the cycle of guilt.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why saying no is not selfish—it’s self-care.
- How to stop feeling guilty when you set boundaries.
- Simple one-liners and scripts to help you say no with ease.
- How to handle pushback when people don’t respect your limits.
If you’re constantly overcommitting, struggling with guilt, or feeling like you have to please everyone, this book will help you reclaim your time and energy without fear.
3. “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
This book is a classic in the world of boundary-setting, especially if you grew up in an environment that taught you to always put others first. Cloud and Townsend explore how to set boundaries from a faith-based perspective, while still being loving, kind, and compassionate.
What You’ll Learn:
- The different types of boundaries (emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual).
- How to say no in a way that aligns with your values.
- Why setting boundaries actually improves your relationships (not harms them).
- How to set boundaries with difficult people, including family members.
If you struggle with feeling selfish for setting limits, this book will show you why boundaries are actually an act of love for both yourself and others.
4. “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach
Sometimes, we struggle with boundaries because we don’t believe we deserve them. Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance explores how self-worth, fear, and guilt can make us overextend ourselves and struggle to say no.
This book is deeply healing and perfect if your boundary issues are rooted in self-doubt, fear of rejection, or people-pleasing habits.
What You’ll Learn:
- How to stop seeking external validation and start trusting yourself.
- How to let go of guilt and shame when setting boundaries.
- The power of self-compassion in reclaiming your space.
- How to stop saying yes out of fear of disappointing others.
If you’ve ever said yes just to feel loved or accepted, this book will help you break free from that cycle and embrace your worth.
5. “The Joy of Saying No” by Natalie Lue
Do you ever say yes out of obligation, guilt, or fear of being seen as rude? Natalie Lue’s The Joy of Saying No will help you unlearn people-pleasing and set boundaries without feeling bad about it.
What You’ll Learn:
- The 5 types of people-pleasers and which one you might be.
- How to stop over-apologizing when you set a boundary.
- Why guilt is not a reason to say yes (and how to release it).
- How to build confidence in asserting your needs.
What I love about this book is that it’s funny, relatable, and easy to digest. It’s like getting boundary setting advice from your best friend but with real, practical tools that actually work.
The Joy of Saying No will help you identify your people-pleasing style and habits. A six-step framework then teaches you how to discover the healing and transformative power of no
Final Thoughts: Boundaries Are Not Selfish
If you’ve ever felt guilty about setting boundaries, remember this: you are not responsible for managing everyone else’s happiness. Your time, energy, and well-being matter, and these books will help you protect them without feeling guilty.
Let’s do a quick recap of these life-changing reads:
- Set Boundaries, Find Peace – The ultimate guide to boundaries in all areas of life.
- The Book of No – Perfect for people-pleasers who struggle with guilt.
- Boundaries – A faith-based approach to setting healthy limits.
- Radical Acceptance – A deep, healing book about self-worth and boundaries.
- The Joy of Saying No – A fun, empowering guide to stop over-apologizing and start setting limits.
Which of these books speaks to you the most?
