Experiencing a miscarriage is a profoundly challenging and emotional journey for any couple. Navigating this kind of grief can bring up a range of feelings from sorrow and guilt to frustration and confusion. During these times, open communication with each other can provide comfort and create a path to healing together. This list of questions is intended to help couples explore their thoughts and feelings in a safe, supportive way.

Take your time with these questions. You don’t have to address them all in one conversation maybe one question a day or week can be enough. Most importantly, listen to each other’s responses with love and empathy.

We also have some cute cards with the questions below which you can download, stick to your journal as you answer them. Find more conversation cards, game cards on our store here. Find these kind conversation on other blog posts.

Conversation Starters for Couples Navigating Miscarriage.

Understanding Each Other’s Grief

1. How would you describe the way you’re feeling right now?
2. What emotions come up the most when you think about our loss?
3. Is there a specific memory or moment that feels the hardest to revisit?
4. What do you feel you’ve lost, beyond the pregnancy itself?
5. Are there any specific feelings of guilt or regret that you’re carrying?
6. How has this experience changed the way you see yourself?
7. What does grief feel like for you?
8. What helps you feel connected to our baby?
9. How can I best support you in your grief?
10. Is there something I may not understand about your experience that you’d like me to?

Finding Ways to Support Each Other

11. What can I do to show you love and support in the coming days?
12. Are there certain words or phrases you find comforting?
13. Is there anything you’d rather not talk about for a while?
14. What do you need most from me on difficult days?
15. Are there any specific things that make you feel supported?
16. How do you feel about leaning on family and friends right now?
17. What’s one thing I can do to help ease your pain?
18. Are there any activities that feel like they bring you comfort?
19. How can we make space for each other’s grief in our daily lives?
20. What are some ways we can nurture each other?

Creating Space for Individual Healing

21. Do you feel you have a safe outlet to express your feelings?
22. What would it look like for you to take some personal time?
23. Are there any hobbies or interests that you find comforting?
24. How can I support your self-care right now?
25. Is there a place or activity that feels calming for you?
26. Do you feel like you need time alone sometimes to process?
27. Is there something new you’d like to try to cope with grief?
28. How do you feel about seeking support outside of our relationship?
29. Do you want to talk to a counselor or therapist?
30. What would healing look like for you?

Honoring Your Baby’s Memory

31. How do you feel about creating a way to remember our baby?
32. Is there something meaningful you’d like to do to honor our loss?
33. How do you feel about discussing our baby with others?
34. Do you want to keep any keepsakes or mementos?
35. Are there certain days or milestones you’d like to honor?
36. How can we make our baby part of our family in spirit?
37. Would you like to have a ceremony or personal ritual?
38. What names or terms do you feel comfortable using for our baby?
39. How do you feel about celebrating or acknowledging the pregnancy in some way?
40. What’s one thing you want others to know about our baby?

Rebuilding Together After Loss

41. How has this experience affected our relationship?
42. What are some things you appreciate about our partnership during this time?
43. Are there any new ways we can connect with each other?
44. What can we do to support each other’s healing individually?
45. How can we celebrate the love and connection we share?
46. Are there certain relationship goals we want to focus on?
47. How can we create space for joy, even as we grieve?
48. What new routines might help us rebuild together?
49. Are there any new traditions we’d like to start?
50. How can we continue to prioritize each other?

Talking About Future Family Plans

51. How do you feel about the idea of trying again in the future?
52. Is there a specific timeline you feel comfortable with?
53. What fears or concerns do you have about future pregnancies?
54. Do you feel ready to discuss family planning?
55. What would you need to feel prepared to try again?
56. Are there any worries about our physical or emotional health?
57. What would you like our support network to know about our plans?
58. How do you feel about getting medical advice or support for the future?
59. Are there any steps you’d like to take before moving forward?
60. What helps you feel hopeful about our future?

Coping with External Pressures and Expectations

61. How comfortable do you feel talking about our loss with others?
62. Are there certain people you feel comfortable opening up to?
63. How do you feel about attending events with babies or children?
64. What can we do to navigate questions from friends or family?
65. Are there certain events or activities we might want to avoid?
66. How do you feel about social media right now?
67. What boundaries do you need with family or friends?
68. How should we respond to well-meaning but hurtful comments?
69. Are there any upcoming events that feel challenging for you?
70. How can we protect our peace together?

Connecting Spiritually and Finding Meaning

71. How has this experience impacted your spiritual beliefs?
72. What brings you a sense of comfort or peace?
73. Do you feel the need to seek guidance from a spiritual advisor?
74. How do you find hope in difficult moments?
75. Are there any spiritual practices you find helpful?
76. Do you feel comfortable praying, meditating, or reflecting together?
77. What role does spirituality play in your healing?
78. How can we lean on our spiritual beliefs as a source of strength?
79. Do you feel there is a lesson in this experience?
80. How can we find ways to honor our loss through our beliefs?

Moving Forward and Embracing New Possibilities

81. What does moving forward look like for you?
82. What dreams do you still hold for our future?
83. How do you want to find happiness again, together?
84. What steps can we take to bring joy back into our lives?
85. How do you feel about returning to everyday routines?
86. What would help you feel more optimistic about the future?
87. Is there a goal or project we can work on together?
88. How can we bring laughter back into our lives?
89. What’s one small step toward healing that we can take together?
90. How can we rediscover our sense of purpose?

Reflecting on Lessons Learned

91. What have you learned about yourself through this experience?
92. What have you learned about us as a couple?
93. How has this changed your perspective on life?
94. How do you want this experience to shape our future together?
95. What qualities in each other have helped us cope?
96. What are you grateful for in our relationship during this time?
97. How can we honor our resilience moving forward?
98. What strengths have we discovered in each other?
99. How can we use this experience to deepen our connection?
100. What do you hope for in our future, and how can we support that hope?

Grief is a journey without a straight path. As you work through these questions, remember to allow each other space to feel whatever comes up. Some answers may be difficult, and some days will be harder than others. But by sharing openly and supporting one another, you’re honoring both your grief and your relationship. Keep talking, keep holding each other close, and remember, healing takes time.