If you’re anything like me, books are your go-to when you need clarity, motivation, or just a little escape from the noise of the world. And let’s be honest sometimes, that noise isn’t just external; it’s the overwhelming need to make everyone happy, even at the cost of our own well-being. Sound familiar? You might be a people-pleaser! But don’t worry awareness is the first step to healing, and lucky for us, there are books that can guide the way.
If you’ve ever felt drained from constantly saying “yes” when you really wanted to say “no,” struggled with setting boundaries, or found yourself prioritizing others’ needs over your own, this post is for you. Here are the top 10 books to help you break free from people-pleasing tendencies and step into your authentic, unapologetic self. Grab a cozy blanket, a cup of tea, and let’s dive in!
Table of Contents
Must Read Books for People Pleasers.
1. “The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome” by Harriet B. Braiker
This book is a must-read if you’re struggling with the exhausting habit of constantly pleasing others. Braiker breaks down why we fall into this trap, how it affects our mental health, and, most importantly, how to stop. She provides step-by-step exercises to help you break free from approval-seeking behaviors and create healthier relationships.
Why it’s a must-read: It offers a psychology-backed, practical approach to overcoming people-pleasing tendencies.
2. “Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself” by Nedra Glover Tawwab
If you’re a chronic people-pleaser, setting boundaries might feel downright impossible. This book is your guide to understanding why boundaries matter and how to implement them in your life without guilt. Tawwab provides actionable steps to help you break the cycle of over-giving and start prioritizing your own needs.
Why it’s a must-read: It’s filled with real-life scenarios and practical exercises to help you set boundaries with confidence.
3. “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown
Brené Brown is the queen of vulnerability and self-acceptance. In this book, she explores how perfectionism and people-pleasing are deeply connected and how we can learn to embrace our imperfections instead of constantly seeking approval.
Why it’s a must-read: It’s an inspiring, research-based guide to self-acceptance and living authentically.
4. “Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty… And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, and Being Yourself” by Dr. Aziz Gazipura
This book is all about breaking free from the need to be “nice” at all times. Dr. Aziz provides insights on why we’re conditioned to please others and gives tools to unlearn these behaviors so you can finally be unapologetically yourself.
Why it’s a must-read: It teaches you how to say no without guilt and reclaim your confidence.
5. “Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha” by Tara Brach.
If you struggle with self-worth and constantly seek validation from others, this book is a game-changer. Tara Brach combines mindfulness and self-compassion techniques to help you embrace yourself as you are—flaws and all.
Why it’s a must-read: It’s a beautiful blend of psychology and spirituality that encourages self-love and healing.
6. “The Courage to Be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Inspired by the principles of Adlerian psychology, this book challenges the need for external validation. It teaches you that true happiness comes from within and that it’s okay if not everyone likes you.
The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
Why it’s a must-read: It helps shift your mindset away from seeking approval and towards living freely on your own terms.
7. “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle
This book is all about breaking free from societal expectations and learning to trust yourself. Glennon Doyle’s powerful storytelling makes this a captivating read that will inspire you to stop living for others and start living for yourself.
Why it’s a must-read: It’s an empowering call to stop conforming and embrace your true self.
8. “Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less” by Greg McKeown
People-pleasers often struggle with overcommitting and stretching themselves too thin. This book teaches you the power of saying no and focusing only on what truly matters.
Why it’s a must-read: It provides practical strategies for prioritizing your own needs without guilt.
9. “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown
Another gem by Brené Brown, this book delves into vulnerability and how embracing it can lead to a more fulfilling, courageous life. If your people-pleasing tendencies stem from a fear of rejection or judgment, this book will help you let go of that fear.
Why it’s a must-read: It’s a powerful guide to embracing authenticity and self-worth.
10. “The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships” by Randy J. Paterson
One of the biggest challenges people-pleasers face is asserting themselves. This workbook is a step-by-step guide to developing assertiveness skills, boosting self-confidence, and communicating more effectively without guilt.
Why it’s a must-read: It provides actionable exercises to help you develop strong, healthy communication skills.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Put Yourself First
If you’re tired of feeling drained from constantly prioritizing others over yourself, these books are here to help you break free. Remember, putting yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Learning to set boundaries, embrace your worth, and live authentically is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.
Which of these books speaks to you the most? Have you read any of them? Let’s chat in the comments.
